Happy because I decided

I have spent quite a few days trying to decide what would be the best German course to follow. Should I follow one in the West or the East side of Berlin? Should I go for one that is three hours four times a week or one that is three hours five times a week? Should I study for three or four weeks? Should I follow a course with a school that also offers accommodation that is slightly more expensive or should I look for accommodation independently?

Every attempt at a choice brings me closer to another question that will make me question the choice I just made. And I start feeling unhappy, frustrated, going round in circles, with a tired mind and a disconnected body. I fear that I will not make the best decision. And so I seek for the perfect combination … ignoring the fact that I can only completely evaluate a decision in retrospect, and that in a lot of cases, any decision is good enough.

And then the moment of decision. A sense of relief. And the feeling of happiness seeping back in.

I am not talking about life or death decisions. Or ones where there is clearly a good and a bad option. I’m talking about the countless decisions which drain us of energy in our quest for perfection and security, a result of our fear of missing out. But if we look at what our bodies are telling us, we might find an easier way out, because the moment the mind embarks on its relentless circular motion, changes occur in our bodies. We stop feeling the inside of our bellies; we stop taking deep breaths; our muscles become tense; headaches develop. When we are trying to take a decision, if, instead of putting in all of our energy in trying to find which is the best choice, we were to check in with our body and connect with how we are feeling, we can realise that we are just caught up in our mind’s worries. In that moment, it is a good sign that we need to just pick one of the options and go with it. And happiness and serenity flow back in.

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